Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Failure? No, I'm not

I'm feeling relieved. Relieved that the pressure has gone, that I've gained more time and that I don't need to be afraid. Any more, or at all. What looked like a step backwards might in fact turn out as a leap forward.

To put you in the picture: No, the K_sweater isn't finished yet. It doesn't matter any more, the weather is too warm anyway. Instead, I have started socks for K, even though he might not wear them for a while; but they're still a nice little project, not too large so I can take it with me to knit groups or when I visit my parents next weekend. The baby hat project is postponed till some time later - my ex-coworker's baby is due in April, and I've decided to make him (it's going to be a boy) a hat large enough so he can wear it this fall.
My Masters thesis is not done, and I applied for an extension of 3 more months due to my anxiety. It was pretty much in the last minute that I realized it was too late, there was too much to do and I couldn't handle it. I freaked out, totally, as such a long extension also postpones my other exams (more written and oral), but hey, what's another 6 months? In the very end, this doesn't really matter; the main thing is, I feel good and I get to make my thesis good. If the regular amount of time is not enough for me, then hey, so what? I know that I have a problem, and even though I'm already in therapy because of this, psychoanalysis is not the kind of therapy that takes effect the next day. Plus, it doesn't address the symptoms but their reasons. My anxieties regarding exams and exam-like situations are a symptom for other fears, so I need to find another way to deal with them. Although, knowing that I'm already doing something that helps me in the long run is good to know.

It's now 2,5 weeks ago that I received a packet from Canada. Way back in February, Cynthia had decided to let go some of her stash (for free! how cool is that?), and I secured some of that. The yarn arrived on a really crappy day, and it helped me quite a lot then. Thank you Cynthia! I'll get those squares for Warming Grace in the mail real soon.
The contents of the packet were really yummy: a selection of Jo Sharp Cotton DK in various colors,

and some elann.com Pure Alpaca that I can't wait to try out!

The colors are quite different to the photo above: the blue is not a solid color but contains a lot of speckles,

and the brown has a strong red-ish undertone:

I'm hoping to combine both of those colors in a sweater or a cardigan, but I'll see where the yarn takes me.

K picked some yarn for socks quite a while ago, and just recently I decided to give it a go. I wanted to make manly socks, but with some sort of pattern to make them interesting enough to knit. I came up with a simple cable and rib pattern:

The main green is a rich emerald tone, combined with a lighter green (I'm glad there's not too much of that in the yarn, as I'm not so fond of this shade). The yarn is from Ewa's Sockenwolle, and she called it "Cameron Highlands". The Cameron Highlands are not in Scotland as one might think from the name, but in Malaysia. According to the greens in the picture, Ewa did choose the right name!
Here's a close-up of the cable:

I wanted to make small cables, and I like them a lot! The first sock is done already, and last night I started the second while watching some Twin Peaks. K bought the dvd and got me hooked. Tonight we'll watch the last 3 episodes, and I think the sock will grow a bit more.

Now, I'm off to eat some dinner, or else I'll faint onto my keyboard... which might not be such a good idea.


clothesknit said...

Beautiful yarn from Cyn! And the green sock yarn is so very Spring-ish!

You know I admire that you asked for an extension rather than slogging through and making yourself crazy. I suffer from anxiety as well and it isn't always easy so my heart goes out to you...I remember the stress of a dissertation all too well.

amanda cathleen said...

The blue is lovely! the speckles are amazing. Great cables on your man socks. : )

good for you doing what is right for you!